AWFUL HAUNTINGS

  1. Being followed everywhere by the ghost of every insect you've ever killed on purpose or otherwise
  2. Whenever you come in contact with another person you have a vision of their worst sexual experience
  3. Having to help all these ghosts complete unfinished business that involves watching clips of that Billy Crystal black face routine
  4. Being haunted by your own ghost from the future who is constantly almost giving you advice and warnings and then changing his/her mind
  5. Being able to hear the dying screams of your sperm or ovum