BERNIE SANDERS FACTS
- •Bernie was once left behind by his owners on a camping trip and survived a solo trek across 200 miles of Canadian wilderness to reunite with them
- •In high school Bernie was voted ''most likely to look like the guy in a monster movie who encounters the monster in the woods and tries to warn the town but no one believes him'
- •Nike is planning to release a limited edition burlap sneaker in honor of Bernie
- •The average age of Bernie's supporters is a whole number
- •Bernie collects a single bumblebee from each town he visits on his campaign. If he can't find a bee, he doodles one on a napkin.
- •To relax between campaign stops, Bernie hops aboard a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and lectures her about socialism for hours
- •Bernie's pussy is so wet