CUTE THINGS MY 3 YEAR OLD SON WOULD SAY IF I HAD ONE

  1. What time is it in Mexico City? (Repeatedly throughout the day)
    When I ask him why he needs to know he'll say I should mind my own business
  2. Nic Pizzolato is about as close to being a genius as my balls are to being my dick
    He'd say this at Christmas dinner, even worse
  3. Daddy I can't sleep. Can you Google if anyone's ever killed a swan with scissors?
  4. I'll probably end up calling many men daddy over the course of my life, but you'll always be the one I love best
  5. Sometimes I wish real life was more like my dreams that way if I got thirsty I wouldn't have to ask for milk, I could just suck your blood