DAILY EVENTS

Inspired by @angusisley
  1. Wake up relieved to be alive
  2. Kill the swarm of fruit flies loose in my chambers due to the large bowl of old fruit I refuse to throw away for sentimental reasons
  3. Check my email
  4. Check your email
  5. Tweet at DC comics about all the mistakes they're making
  6. Get cleaned up and dressed
  7. Steal my neighbors newspaper
  8. Scan it for mentions of me
  9. Call my secret wife in Arizona and tell her my trip got extended
  10. Call my secret wife in New Jersey and tell her my trip got extended
  11. Hop in the car and head down to the beach
  12. Steal surfer's keys while they're out in the deep water
  13. Breakfast at diner
  14. Bring food to the storage unit where I'm holding @ListPrompts prisoner
  15. Make empty promises to @ListPrompts about how I'll let them go as soon as they beat me at Stratego
  16. Cheat at Stratego
  17. Work on re-writing War and Peace so that all the characters from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine are in it
  18. Have my tarot read to determine what to have for dinner
  19. Eat an ancient tree covered with moths (again--make note to revisit tarot as dinner decider idea)
  20. Watch tv for a while
  21. Brush teeth
  22. Settle into bed and have prostitute choke me unconscious