DON'T TELL ANYONE BUT I'M CATFISHING VLADIMIR PUTIN

  1. We connected via LinkedIn, believe it or not
  2. I told him my name is Bella
  3. I'm 23 and interested in exploring my sexual limitations
  4. This is the pic I sent him
    Took a gamble that he hasn't seen many American movies and it totally paid off
  5. You should see the stuff he texts me
  6. 'This G8 summit would be so much more bearable if I knew I'd get to go back to the hotel and hold your hand aferwards'
  7. 'Being so far from you, now I know why these Chechen dissidents wail for their loved ones in the night'
  8. That one I actually thought was pretty sweet
  9. He said he wants to rename the Ukraine after me
  10. I'm tempted to ask him to rename it after my 'brother' Tom
  11. Tomsylvania?
  12. Tomistan?
  13. I don't know
  14. The recent twist is that this guy from the CIA reached out to me hoping I could help them get some information
  15. But the CIA guy thinks I'm actually this Bella woman!
  16. AND NOW HE SAYS HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME TOO
  17. I've sexted both of them
  18. And one night I was sexting them both at the same time and I started cutting and pasting what they were saying to me into the messages I sent to each of them
  19. So in an indirect way it's like they were sexting each other!
  20. Putin is weirdly naive, sexually
  21. I told him that when we finally met I wanted to do it 'Grimace style'
  22. He's playing along like he knows what that means and he keeps sending me pictures of the Grimace
  23. The CIA guy is into feet