HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH DOGS

  1. When you hear the DMX song 'where my dogs at?' You get worried that maybe DMX lost his dogs and that they'll get into some kind of trouble before he can find them
  2. And they you worry that this guy has all these dogs that he can't keep track of in the first place
  3. So you do some research into what it takes to have someone's dogs taken away from them
  4. And realize your options are pretty limited
  5. So then you start petitioning local government to change the laws protecting dogs
  6. And there's this one city councilman who is always flirting with you
  7. And you're just not attracted to him
  8. But you let him take you to dinner anyway because it'll be an opportunity to discuss the dog issue
  9. And on the date he makes it clear that he'll help you pass this legislation if you have sex with him
  10. And you think about it
  11. And you say you'll do it if he wears a dog collar
  12. And he's like--wow you're obsessed with dogs.
  13. That's how you know