I DON'T LIKE BASEBALL BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO STOP ME FROM TALKING LIKE I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT IT

  1. Even though football is more popular than baseball in America, we tend to turn to baseball when we want to feel good about ourselves
  2. Maybe one of the reasons for this is that to win at baseball, a team has to be ready to work in perfect harmony, almost like everyone is thinking with the same brain, in the face of uncertainty
  3. Anything can happen when the batter hits the ball, so the opposing team has to be ready for anything and capable of handling anything
  4. Every member of the team has to pull their weight and trust their teammates to do the same. They have to be able to throw the ball and know without looking that someone will be there to catch it.
  5. That's a nice and enticing idea but maybe not...
  6. ...really reflective of contemporary American culture
  7. If baseball really reflected contemporary America, the infield would charge the batter before he even swung and rip him limb from limb
  8. While the outfield argued about whether killing the batter is morally justified
  9. And the pitcher vaped
  10. I'd watch that game.