1. There are so many Female Body Inspectors at spring break and so few willing to travel to the developing world, where they're needed most
  2. Once upon a time people wore suits on airplanes and the last time I flew somewhere the guy next to me took a shit in the vomit bag and brought it up to show the pilot and the pilot liked it so much he let the guy help land the plane
  3. Shooting someone in the eye with a laser used to be badass and now it's nerdy Doctor stuff
  4. There used to be just 3 tv channels and everyone was satisfied and now there are thousands and I'm home on Friday night torn between which one to jerk it to
  5. These Millennial kids will never know about the 8th day of the week Ronald Reagan made us abandon and write out of history in 1987 to punish us
  6. More people aren't wishing @john a happy birthday