ME, BY THE NUMBERS

  1. One: testicle
  2. Two: penises
  3. Three: lies in this list so far
  4. Four minutes thinking about that last item, whether the implication is that the third item is a lie as well, which would mean...that I do actually have one testicle and two dicks? Is that right?
  5. Five: the number of dicks I actually have
  6. Six: inches total if you stacked them one on top of the other