ONE TIME I CAUSED A RUCKUS PRETENDING TO DROWN AND LEARNED NOTHING FROM THE EXPERIENCE

  1. When I was a kid the pond near our house was still clean enough to swim in
  2. One day when I was 7 or 8 a bunch of kids were splashing around in the pond while our mother's sat on the shore smoking cigarettes or whatever
  3. My sister was swimming around with her friends and my brother was basically a baby, so no one was paying attention to me
  4. So B is the moms, X is me in the middle of the pond. A are a bunch of houses under construction--lots of workers out that day-- and C is this bridge where a group of Girl Scouts just happen to be having a big ceremony of some kind
  5. I thought it would funny to pretend I was drowning
  6. So I started screaming and flailing splashing
  7. And my mom took one look at me and thought, That little fucker is faking
  8. And ignored me
  9. So I started screaming louder
  10. Until I noticed that all the Girl Scouts had abandoned the bridge, jumped into the water fully dressed, and we're swimming out to save me
  11. And that a bunch of the construction workers had done the same
  12. So I knew I could either keep it up and pretend to let them save me or run away
  13. And quickly swam as hard as could for the far side of the pond
  14. Where I went on to hide in the woods until dark
  15. This story would have a better ending of ID gotten bit by snake hiding in the woods
  16. But nothing that exciting happened really