PERKS OF BECOMING A LISTAPP PREMIUM SUBSCRIBER

  1. Premium subscribers receive printed, bound books of lists from users they follow in the mail once a week
  2. 2 days warning of app going public to allow deletion of problematic lists
  3. Premium subscribers can steal and receive credit for lists made by normals
  4. BJ Novak will acknowledge your birthday
    Note--Mr Novak is under no obligation to express a wish as to the quality of said birthday
  5. 24 hour Access to a team of list professionals who will complete lists you lose enthusiasm for halfway through
  6. Guaranteed access to the walled city of Listus after the fall of man
  7. Choice of dual wielding melee weapons in the Listus fighting pits instead of being limited to one
  8. Premium users get choice of being reincarnated as either bald eagle or Bengal tiger
  9. Premium subscription to LISTAPP may be upgraded to Excelsior level subscription after six months
  10. Excelsior level subscribers receive the relationship with their father they always wanted but never thought possible
    Turns out he's just a scared man doing the best he can