REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE REQUESTS FOR FUTURE DEBATES

  1. Jeb Bush wants the moderators to sign a note verifying that he tried his hardest that he can bring back to his parents for them to hang on the fridge.
  2. John Kasich has requested that the moderators refer to him as 'Mr President' just so he can hear someone say that once in his life
  3. Ben Carson has requested a pillow
  4. The candidates have all requested that moderators frame all questions in the form of a compliment
    Example: Senator Cruz, if elected President, do you think your extreme good looks would inspire jealously from other world leaders? And what role do you see your incredible bravery playing in overcoming any jealous reactions from fellow heads of state?
  5. All candidates have requested that Donald Trump be kept in a cage suspended from the ceiling of the auditorium.
  6. In accordance with his religious beliefs, Mike Huckabee has asked that none of the candidates at the debate wear clothes containing mixed fabrics
  7. Marco Rubio would like to be excused from telling the truth