1. If your partner has a tattoo of an eagle, any children you have together will have mysterious powers
    Only true if you consider abandonment issues a power
  2. You can't get pregnant if you have sex in the dunk tank at a carnival
    Statistically you're actually much more likely to get pregnant this way
  3. If a man experiences an erection and does not ejaculate the semen solidifies and that's where chalk comes from
  4. Every human has a 'nipple twin' and if you find yours you are guaranteed the most fulfilling sexual experience of you life
    The last recorded case of nipple twins was in 1945
  5. If a man doesn't want to wear a condom he can stuff one into his urethra instead
  6. If a woman can't achieve orgasm vaginally it's because she hasn't achieved enough hit points
    Hit points control spell casting and healing, not orgasm
  7. If you and your partner fail to achieve simultaneous orgasm it's because one of you is gay
    This is especially false in cases where both partners are gay