1. If a Guinea pig sees two humans having sex it will masturbate
    Depends on if the Guinea pig finds the humans attractive
  2. You can't get pregnant if you have sex in the dunk tank at a carnival
    Not only can you get pregnant, this is how all the x-men were conceived
  3. If you can't find a condom, the bandanna that Willie Nelson wore in his 2013 world tour will do just as well
    This will not prevent pregnancy and guarantees that any children conceived will be born with stupid looking braids
  4. Old people have less or no sex
    They still do it but it's not worth talking about
  5. Some men are born with inverted nipples and if a woman inserts her nipples into these holes she and the man will lose the ability to orgasm forever
    This is only true in an extremely small number of cases
  6. 'Blue balls' can result in death
    I don't think this is true but that hasn't stopped me from repeating it as needed