Shameless Self Promotion, 1-77

  1. 1.
    I've got all my original bones
  2. 2.
    And all my original teeth
  3. 3.
    I carry them around in a ziplock bag
  4. 4.
    Sometimes I'll go to the full service toll collector and instead of handing over cash I'll hand overmy bag of baby teeth
  5. 5.
    They always take this as a prank but really I'm showing off!
  6. 6.
    David Lynch once called me oblique
  7. 7.
    I've had sex
  8. 8.
    I can almost sign my whole name in cursive
  9. 9.
    I saw a cool boat last summer
    On tv
  10. 10.
    I've never tasted popcorn
  11. 11.
    When I was eleven years old a parrot bit my left thumb off and choked to death on it at bush gardens
  12. 12.
    I can hop on one foot
    One of yours
  13. 13.
    do I really have to come up with 70-whatever of these
  14. 14.
    @Nicholas seems to have a lot of faith in my ability to focus on a single task
    He's misguided
  15. 15.
    Sallie Mae owes me money
  16. 16.
    I was the one who recommended they get rid of drafts
  17. 17.
    I thought it would be funny
  18. 18.
    It was