SOME FACTS ABOUT DONALD TRUMP DICTATED BY TRUMP TO ME

  1. All my life my heart has sought a thing I cannot name
  2. I know my hair looks silly but at this point if I change its like I'm bowing down. So I'm stuck
  3. Water in Mars is interesting but I'm more worried about making sure the people here on earth have everything they need
  4. That book the Martian wasn't all that well written by the way but I'm still looking forward to the movie
  5. I never leave home without my Oakley sunglasses
  6. I submitted a poem to @Lenny under the alias Tanya Lansing but they rejected it. It was about skincare and before he died CK Williams sent me an email saying he thought it showed great promise so your loss, @Lenny
  7. When I was a baby my father kept me in a crate with a box turtle as an experiment. I don't know what he was investigating but to this day I hate all turtles
  8. When I get really stressed out I apply for jobs at Starbucks or 7-11 and then show up in disguise for the interview and bomb on purpose. Afterwards I feel great because I don't need their money, I have billions of dollars of my own
  9. My favorite movie character of all time is Otho from Beetlejuice
  10. When I'm elected president I'm going to house all my reptiles in the Lincoln bedroom (no turtles in the collection, mostly geckos. I remember where I got each one and what I was feeling when I bought it. It's like a living, scaly scrapbook)
  11. @jakebrandman and @Jac have the most adorable baby I've ever seen
  12. This is maybe the best thing ever written about me by anyone http://bit.ly/1gfJhVZ
  13. I don't believe for a second that Murray is an actual child
  14. @Vogue should follow @john