STATE OF THE UNION DRINKING GAME

Take a drink whenever
  1. ...the President misquotes Borat
    THAT SOUNDS NICE
  2. ...The president mentions his friend Glen, who owns a reptile store in Spartanburg
  3. ...a republican congressman sits a real life McDonalds Fry Guy on his lap and strokes it like a cat
  4. ...Paul Ryan fiddles with his slingshot
  5. ...vice-president Biden interrupts to announce that he's just realized he's more famous than all his favorite porn stars
  6. ...Michelle looks like she's thinking about boogie boards
  7. ...the president pauses to read an add for Squarespace
  8. ...the president mentions your ex, and how happy she is, how obviously in love