1. When I was in graduate school I lived in a terrible apartment made all the worse because I was a lunatic
    Like one time after I finished a meal I smashed the dirty plate with a hammer to see what my roommate would say and then left the shards on the ground for over a week
  2. The building was ancient and had an AC that barely worked and it would get to be like 90 degrees in there in the summer
  3. So my roommate and I kept complaining until finally the landlord sent someone to come check it out
  4. The afternoon the guy came to work on the system I was watching this documentary about B horror movies
    I forget what it was called
  5. So when he arrived I paused the movie to let him in and was showing him the thermostat when I noticed him look at the TV and do a double take because when I paused I paused on this...
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    Not the actual image but very similar. A guy in a demon mask lurking over s nude woman.
  6. The AC guy kept trying to do his job but was clearly freaked out and wouldn't make eye contact or even look at me
    Because he thought I was watching satanic pornography in the afternoon on a Tuesday
  7. I really wanted to show him that it was just a documentary and that I wasn't a monster but it seemed weird to suddenly call attention to the situation
  8. So finally the AC guy said he had to climb up on the roof to mess with some shot ip there and that he'd yell down and when he yelled I was supposed to crank the thermostat and tell him what happened
    It was over 100 degrees outside and up in the tar roof he had to climb a ladder
  9. He climbed up there and did whatever and yelled down and instead of cranking the thermostat like he asked I did nothing and hit play on the movie, thinking he'd come back see I wasn't into devil snuff flicks
    But of course I yelled back that I did what he asked and it wasn't working
  10. This went on for like 10 minutes, him telling me to try it and me lying that I was and that it wasn't working so he'd come back down
    In retrospect I have no idea why I didn't just do what he asked. He woulda come back into the apt one way or the other
  11. So finally the guy shouted that he was coming back down. Perfect timing because the film was showing some old horror nerds talking about symbolism or something. Clearly a documentary, unmistakable
  12. The poor guy was DRENCHED in sweat when he came back into the apartment. Dripping.
  13. He tried the thermostat and of course the air started blowing right away
    Didn't look at the TV of course
  14. He asked me, You sure you did it just like I did? And I said, Yes. Just like that.
  15. You're sure? Just like this?
    The guy was bewildered
  16. Yeah I don't get it, I did exactly like you said
  17. The guy paused. Wiped the sweat out of his eyes
  18. And then he looked up and said, I've had my fill of being tested
  19. Then yanked off the crucifix he had on under his shirt and dropped it on the ground
  20. And left
  21. The AC worked for a few days and then went out for good. I thought about trying to pawn the crucifix (real gold!) to offset the price of a window unit but ended up paying for a unit out of pocket
  22. I still have the crucifix