Story I told my nephews

Ages 5 and 3. They wanted a story about a pillow named Babyhead
  1. There was a couch pillow named Babyhead who grew tired of being sat on all day
  2. So one day when the people who owned the house he lived in accidentally left the door open, Babyhead made a run for it
  3. He got into the yard and thought, I wonder what my new life will be?
  4. Just then an eagle flew down and grabbed Babyhead and carried him away
  5. The eagle brought Babyhead to its nest high up in a tree
  6. The eagle said, how about living here with me me? I'll put my eggs on you to keep them safe
  7. Babyhead didn't think that sounded much better than being sat on by humans, so he threw himself out of the nest and fell to the ground...
  8. ...where he was discovered by a mole
  9. Come live with me, the mole said. It's so uncomfortable underground, you can. You can be my bed
  10. Babyhead didn't like that idea either, so he rolled away
  11. Soon he met a snake.
  12. Come live with me, said the snake.
  13. Babyhead asked, are you going to sit on me?
  14. No, said the snake. We snakes have no need for comfort. We just want to be friends
  15. So Babyhead went with the snake and lived with him and his snake family for many years
  16. But one day one of the snakes asked if he could rest on Babyhead for just a second, which made Babyhead very angry.
  17. So he wandered off into the woods. He didn't even say goodbye.
  18. In the woods, he met Santa Claus!
  19. Hey, Santa said. How would you like to come live with me in the North Pole?
  20. Are you going to sit on me? Babyhead asked
  21. No, Santa said. I'd like you to help run my workshop
  22. Babyhead was thrilled!
  23. But just then the snake family, who didn't know Babyhead had run away—they thought he'd been kidnapped!—arrived. They thought Santa was the one who kidnapped Babyhead!
  24. The snakes attacked Santa!
  25. They crawled through his beard and hair, the slithered through his clothes
  26. Santa screamed and screamed!
  27. And do you know what Babyhead did?
  28. He ran away
  29. He moved to chicago
  30. And changed his name to Bruce
  31. And got a job at a factory making plastic tables
  32. My nephews didn't love the story
  33. They wanted to know how Santa escaped the snake attack
  34. I said, Santa used his magic to make the snakes fall asleep, but they were all wrapped around his body like a rope. To this day they're still tangled around him, and that's why he's always so quiet when he comes around on Christmas Eve
  35. So that he doesn't awaken the snakes