TERMINATOR GENISYS SPOILERS

  1. At no point in Terminator Genisys does an elderly woman flaunt her naked breasts and croon while the Terminator throws firecrackers at her feet
  2. The movie opens with the Terminator beating an NYC firefighter in a pizza eating contest but refusing the trophy on account of the firefighter being 'a real American hero'
  3. There's a scene in the movie where Kyle Reese has a dream that he's shooting at Terminator and that the bullets he's firing all have his face on them and then the Terminator turns into his mothers vagina.
  4. If you look close when Reese is hacking the mainframe his search history includes the phrase 'David the Gnome fucking'
  5. The climax of the movie takes place at a Leonard Cohen concert. Cohen gives a speech about how climate change is a myth and sings an original song called 'climates don't change (but my ladies love fades')
  6. The movie ends with Cohen telling John Conner that he's his hero and then cuts quickly to the firefighter from the earlier pizza-eating contest choking to death on one of those Lik-M-Aid dipping sticks set to that Imagine Dragons song “Radioactive”
    A bunch of people in the theater booed.