1. All dads look sad
  2. All moms look like they're valiantly trying to hold their families together.
  3. Most people have tattoos
  4. Most tattoos are terrible
  5. This sunburned oaf is either going to conclude his monologue explanation for why he shouldn't have to pay for an icee when what he meant to order was a daiquiri and exit the line or he and I are going to be on the local news tonight
  6. waiting in line for roller coasters sure makes teenagers horny
  7. The benches outside the bathrooms sure make teenagers horny
  8. Looking at Clydesdales really gets teens in the mood to fuck
  9. Am I too preoccupied with horny teens?
  10. Is that kid fingering his girlfriend up against the bald eagle enclosure?
  11. All these sad dads were horny teens once
  12. The line between horny teen and sad dad is thin and very sticky
    With progressively less interesting substances