THINGS THAT ARE IN NO WAY IRONIC

  1. A poor man sells his prized pocket watch to buy his wife a comb for her beautiful hair, his wife is grateful and apologizes for not getting him anything.
  2. A lifeguard drowning in his own blood.
  3. You laugh at a person who slips on a banana peel and later that day fall into a deep depression.
  4. A man who plays the same numbers in the state lottery every week for twenty-two years meets professional wrestler CM Punk at a charity event.
  5. A dog shredding her Obedience School diploma at her master’s behest.
  6. Two marriage counselors get divorced from their respective spouses. They weren’t married to each other. They don’t even live in the same country, one is American and the other is Japanese.