THINGS YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST AGREE ON BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

  1. Roles
    Who is going to be the karate expert and who is going to be the explosives expert?
  2. Chores
    Is it acceptable to let the dishes soak in the sink overnight, or does every fucking thing have to be a savage fucking argument?
  3. Little things
    Does the toilet paper go over or under, and didn't we used to be interesting and fun?
  4. Big things
    Given the opportunity and a guarantee you'd never be caught, would you murder Neil Diamond?