THINGS YOU'RE DOING WRONG
- •Removing your feetDon't waste time and energy sawing through all that bone, simply shatter your ankle with a hammer before you begin cutting
- •Being TexanDon't be so shy, bring it up once in a while
- •Rolling up your sleevesWait until your shirt is on
- •Threatening your landlordBe vague. Alluding to what you'll do if he doesn't replace the hinge on your mailbox gets it fixed just as quick as a specific threat but is much harder to prosecute
- •Giving yourself a colonoscopyJust swallow your pride and get your cousin to do it for you.
- •Playing fuck/marry/killRemember, you get to fuck the one you marry over and over and over