THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO SOMEONE WHO ACCIDENTALLY CUT THEMSELVES

Requested by @p
  1. How many men did you sleep with before we started dating?
  2. Ok but is there ever a good time for this conversation? It's in the air now, let's do it now.
  3. I don't NEED to know, I just WANT to know
  4. Because I'm curious!
  5. Look out you're getting blood on my copy of Infinite Jest. Damn it today was going to be the day I finished the thing, too.
  6. Do you not want to tell me because it's a lot, or because it's so few?
  7. Is it an even number?
  8. Look the ambulance is going to be a minute so let's talk about this now and then when we get to the hospital it'll be behind us
  9. Could you count the number on one hand?
  10. Could you count the number on...well, could I count the number on two hands?