THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO AN ORANGE ROCK MONSTER

  1. Have you seen this show Review? So funny.
    My big rock hands are too clumsy to work the tv remote.
  2. You'll never get another sunburn!
    Or feel a lovers gentle caress
  3. Your eyes look so soulful
    But I feel totally forsaken
  4. Orange is such a fun color
    Children shriek at the sight of me
  5. You can fight crime!
    That sounds hard. Hard like rocks. Oh god I'm a rock monster! A mooooooooonster!!!!
  6. You don't have to go to the bathroom anymore
    I had to pee when I was mutated and now I don't have a penis so now there will be no relief until I work up the courage to buy an industrial drill and bore into myself