1. Hey there's my friend Han Solo
  2. Wait I don't actually know Han Solo
    I have the same reaction to seeing Grover and Oscar the Grouch ... Like a beloved uncle I haven't seen in decades just showed up
  3. I'm jealous Chewbacca gets to hang out with him all the time though
  4. If I met the two of them I think Han and I would hit it off
  5. And there'd be tension between me and Chewie
  6. So one night I'd invite Chewie to dinner, just the two of us. And it'd be fine but the next day when I saw Han id act uncomfortable like something was bothering me until Han asked what was going on.
  7. And I'd say to Han--I don't know if you heard but Chewie and I really got into it last night
  8. And Han would be like, Really?
  9. YeH man he said he thought he was a better spaceship pilot than you but I was like, confused, because you're clearly the best spaceship pilot alive
  10. And Han would be like, He said that?
    Hey man I shouldn't have said anything I know you guys go way back...
  11. And the next time we went out in the millennium falcon together Han would be like, Hey Tom you're sitting shotgun tonight
  12. And Chewie would be like, Whoorg?
  13. And Han would (really icily) say, yeah you heard me
    I'd turn to Chewie and shrug like, sorry dude
  14. After the mission id go to Chewie and say, Hey man I don't know what that was about I feel bad
  15. But I'd make sure Han saw Chewie and I talking
  16. And later Han would be like, what was that about?
  17. And I'd be like, it's not my place to say.
  18. And Han would ask again what Chewie said
  19. And I'd be like, Seriously man like I told Chewie, I'm not gonna talk about You with Han, so don't think you can talk about Han with me
  20. "That mangy furball"
  21. "Look Han I don't..."
  22. "No, no. It's fine. I guess it's good to... Look, I'm glad to have someone around I can trust
  23. And he'd squeeze my shoulder
  24. And suddenly Chewie wouldn't be around so much anymore
  25. And I'd have Han to myself
  26. And then 3 weeks later Han and I would be hanging out and he'd say I was his best friend and I'd get freaked out and stop texting him back
  27. And probably start hanging out with Chewie instead.
  28. And I'd be like, What's the deal with Han? What kind of grown man needs a buddy with him all the time?
  29. And Chewie would go, Whhhorg hoorf rawrf
  30. I'd have no idea what that means
  31. But I'd laugh