1. Don't overdo it with the cover letter
    Don't be cute, don't try to be funny, don't be pretentious. Just say hello and list any interesting publications. I don't even care about publications that much actually. Don't say anything besides 'hi, here, thanks, unless otherwise requested
  2. Make your submission interesting right away
    I've got 100 other subs to review after yours, if your first page doesn't hook me I might not read the second one, sorry to say
  3. Don't send something insanely long
    Goes along with the above. You can get away with something long if you're someone I've heard of or if I've solicited the story but otherwise chill out. No 40 pagers please
  4. If someone solicits work from you, don't send them a story that's already been rejected by other places
    This happens all the time and always ends up being really awkward. One of my co-editors solicited a story from a very famous author right before she hit and she sent us something terrible. We ended up rejecting it and she was really, really upset and rude.
  5. Proofread before sending
    And no fucked up formatting or tricky fonts
  6. If your writing is awesome these rules go out the window
    So be awesome
  7. And if you're awesome, submit to failbetter.com