1. Dad takes Mom to dinner at a nice restaurant for Valentine’s Day. His budget for the entire dinner is $200.00. Dinner costs $141.54, and Dad leaves a 20% tip for the waitress. If the ride home takes twenty-one minutes, and the waitress was of above-average attractiveness, how many minutes of the ride home will mom spend crying?
  2. Janet is all alone for Valentine’s Day. If Valentine’s Day is 24 hours long, and the average episode of Downton Abbey is 60 minutes, how many episodes will Janet have time to watch if she also spends 11 hours that day on Facebook and Twitter insisting that Valentines Day is meaningless?
  3. Ms. Mize needs to fill 4 hours of her third grade class. If class starts at 9am and she requires her students to make handmade Valentine’s cards for each of their classmates, and it takes each student 8 minutes to make each card, how much time will Ms. Mize devote to wondering if calling her ex-husband on Valentine’s Day just to say hello is weird?
  4. Melissa gets a Valentine from each of her classmates except for Johnny. If there's a 36% chance that Johnny meant to give her a Valentine and forgot, a 24% chance that Johnny gave out no cards, and a 40% chance that Johnny doesn’t know Melissa exists, how many years will it take before Melissa doesn’t feel awful about this one way or the other?
  5. Dale tells his boyfriend Eric that all he wants for Valentines Day is the new Simpson’s Lego set. If the Simpson’s Lego set costs $100, and Dale is 29 years old and doesn’t have health insurance, is it okay for Eric to flirt with the new guy who just moved in down the hall?
  6. Ms. Mize’s ex-husband Terry is dating a woman 11 years younger than himself and 9 years younger than Ms. Mize. If Ms. Mize is 36, how likely is it she’ll have time to meet someone new before it’s too late for her to have children?
  7. There are 100 people in the bar on Valentine’s Day. If 1/3 of these people are in committed relationships, and another 4/12 are happy being single, what is it that makes me inherently unlovable?