WE PUT A LAMB ON A HOVERBOARD AND CLICKING ON THIS MAKES YOU COMPLICIT IN WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

  1. This was Logan.
  2. Listen, the media is basically the Wild West right now
  3. Everyone wants to go viral and with some exceptions it's very difficult to predict what might catch on
  4. But you have to go viral to survive.
  5. And there are only so many Harry Potter quizzes a person can generate in a week
  6. I pitched my editor an article about how how my family first came to America
  7. She said to do something with one of these hoverboards we have around the office
  8. We have so many hoverboards around here
  9. And this is my job, you know? Generating content. So I have to do it
  10. And doesn't a video of a sweet baby lamb zipping around on a hover board sound like something people would click on and share?
  11. You know you would have
  12. Which makes you to blame, if you ask me
  13. Sure what happened could easily have been avoided
  14. Sure we shouldn't have screwed with the hoverboard settings to see if we could make it go faster
  15. In retrospect attaching sparklers to the hoverboard was overkill
  16. Maybe if we, as a people, were more invested in meaningful discourse and didn't have such a hunger for
  17. I don't know
  18. I'm not saying I'm innocent in all this
  19. I could have stopped the whole thing a bunch of times
  20. I wanted those clicks
  21. It sure was cute for the first couple seconds
  22. I don't feel good
  23. I don't think I'll ever stop smelling it