1. I (can't believe I already cracked the screen on this) phone
  2. I (am frustrated that this thing won't connect to the wifi in my house) phone
  3. I (have to find the strength to stop playing that dots game on this) phone
  4. I (am bored by this premise already and generally really enjoy this) phone
  5. I (thought I'd think of funnier stuff riffing on common problems associated with this specific model of) phone
  6. I (guess I could do one about how the tons of cool and convenient stuff this device is capable of is offset by it more and more staying silent and increasing symbolizing loneliness and isolation) phone
  7. I(nternet)phone?