WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

Most of these I never stopped wanting to be
  1. Groo
    I called me dad a mendicant all the time when I was 4
  2. Superman
    Before discovering sadness
  3. Spider-Man
    Post discovering sadness
  4. Cop
    Until it dawned on me that all the kids I hated grew up to be cops
  5. Professional surfer
    I've gone surfing once and got hurt real bad
  6. Professional body surfer
    Not a thing
  7. Elmore Leonard
  8. Quentin Tarantino
  9. Legs McNeil
    I carried Please Kill Me everywhere for years and read it to pieces
  10. George Saunders
  11. Don Draper
    Switched major briefly to Mass Communication but it all seemed real unethical
  12. Journalist
    I hate research though
  13. Tom Scharpling
  14. College professor
    I am currently this and right now it's kind of a drag...not as much like Indiana Jones as I imagined it would be
  15. College Professor with Tenure
    This probably will not happen