1. Use the panic button at the bottom of your screen to order generic lithium from Mexico when your list isn't getting enough attention as quickly as you were hoping it would
  2. When you mention @Nicholas @dev @bjnovak or @sophia their phone will now make a high pitched squeal until they review and respond to your message
  3. A new feature automatically blocks all lists that organize stuff from outside Harry Potter into various houses at Gryffindor
  4. If someone reposts your list without also liking it, they will automatically be charged .25 cents
  5. Each day, one person who @JeremyPivot is not will be announced. Today, @JeremyPivot is not Bashar al-Assad
  6. If your list is featured, @paulfeig will send you a handwritten letter explaining that 'Freaks and Geeks' was written just for you and you're the only one that really gets it.
  7. If you mention a verified user in more than three consecutive lists, your name is sent to the NSA and your email is scanned for security purposes.
    Requested by @john and called 'the @DanaDigsYou protocol'
  8. If someone reposts one of your lists without following you, you will automatically be sent generic Mexican lithium