1. Leonardo
    People who love Leonardo tend to be oldest siblings. Some Leonardo people masturbate compulsively, although this may vary according to religious backgrounds and general health
  2. Raphael
    Raphael fans make a point of getting to Starbucks early on Sunday mornings in order to take the table outside that these two retired guys like to sit at and complain about liberals over breakfast sandwiches. The Raphael fan views this as real political action.
  3. Michelangelo
    People who love this free-spirit are statistically more likely to die with unfinished business and become ghosts.
  4. Donatello
    The teams resident tech-head appeals to diabetics, adult dishwashers, and registered independents in eerily equal measure