WHY I AM SINGLE

  1. I'm so brave and selfless that a lot of people who aren't have a hard time dealing with my energy
  2. I'm really, really good at taking even the slightest difference of opinion as a personal attack
  3. Some women have a hard time taking responsibility for my mistakes and shortcomings and that is a huge turn off
  4. I'm an excellent, attentive, and intuitive lover and some women just don't have time for super intense day-long orgasms I absolutely guarantee
  5. I have to feel a really strong emotional and intellectual connection with a woman in order to feel bad for cheating on her
  6. I have a cloaca
  7. Also a penis
  8. It's a complicated situation down there
  9. I keep a little bag with my ex-gf's nail clippings in it on my person at all times