WORST THINGS TO BUY AT THE DOLLAR STORE

  1. I thought $1 for a functioning MRI machine was an incredible deal but this thing smells like crayons and it's starting to make me nauseous
  2. According to these cheapo tarot cards I died in my sleep last weekend
  3. paying one dollar for celebrated poet and author Ben Lerner seemed like the deal of a lifetime but all he's done since I brought him home is eat all my fruit snacks and complain I don't subscribe to Starz.