These are to be told onstage, painted green, with a large tail protruding at the rear.
  1. Why are lizards so bad at finishing stories? Because they always lose their tale
  2. What do you tell a very large lizard when his Asian garment is too long? "Hey! Your kimono's draggin!"
  3. What's the coldest reptile? A blizzard.
  4. What's the warmest reptile? Probably a lizard on a rock, bathing in the sun.
  5. What do you call a non-consensual lizard? A rapetile
  6. What do you call intercourse between two scaly lovers with tiny arms? Tyrannosaurus Sex.
  7. What do you call a lizard with no arms or legs? A snake, silly!
  8. What is a lizard's best pickup line? Iguana get to know you.
  9. What's a lizard's favorite rapper? Chameleonaire