LIFE GOALS

  1. 1.
    Become a C-list celebrity so that I can be on Dancing With the Stars.
  2. 2.
    Get up the first time my alarm goes off.
  3. 3.
    Watch The Godfather trilogy.
  4. 4.
    Write a book.
  5. 5.
    Make it a week without ordering delivery.
  6. 6.
    Memorize and recite a Kanye rant.