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- •This girl be cray. SHE IS A STALKER WHO TALKS INTO A TAPE RECORDER TO HER ALLEGED "FRENCH TUTOR". WHY DOESN'T SHE SPEAK IN FRENCH?!?!?!?
- •Wait...Janeane Garofalo is that you??
- •Ben should have gotten a restraining order, not asked her for homework help. #BenIsKindaStupid
Thirty-three. Thriving. Alone in a studio.
- •Recreate scenes from your favorite movies by yourself.I'll have what she's having.
- •Pee, shower, poop, brush your teeth, blow dry your hair, put your make-up on, clean, poop with the bathroom door openYes I meant to say poop twice.
- •Eat everything with your hands.Spaghetti is so much easier without a fork.
- •That time we went out and got drunk together.
- •That time we went out and got drunk together and I feel off the bar.
- •That time we went out together and I think I got roofied.
- •That time Jake left for a semester abroad and then came back but then started dating his gorgeous wife and now they have the cutest baby in the world.
I'v been living in a special hell for the last 16 hours..
- •You can puke food out through your nose.Was that an onion?
- •You probably will never go to your favorite restaurant again.I mean it felt a little dirty, but the food was so authentic.
- •When you think you feel better, you don't.Sushi is not the first food you should eat after food poisoning...
- •You will have the fear of "Did I just shit myself?" with every sudden move you make.I have to change my underwear.