Things you do when you live alone.

Thirty-three. Thriving. Alone in a studio.
  1. Recreate scenes from your favorite movies by yourself.
    I'll have what she's having.
  2. Pee, shower, poop, brush your teeth, blow dry your hair, put your make-up on, clean, poop with the bathroom door open
    Yes I meant to say poop twice.
  3. Eat everything with your hands.
    Spaghetti is so much easier without a fork.
  4. Masturbate everywhere.
    I wouldn't touch that. Or sit on that.
  5. Leave broken things broken.
    I like how the shower head leaks everywhere. I've always wanted a logo.
  6. Give the delivery guy the wrong apartment number.
    When you buzz him in, race to the apartment number you gave him and then say something about your "boyfriend" loving sushi and that's why you ordered so much and you need two sets of chopsticks.