1. I can't get into my fucking car... So far so good
  2. Thanks for the break check... I hope your unborn grandkids have an aversion to pumping gas and therefor will only be able to reside in New Jersey
  3. I am going to become part of your life, buy you a pet piggie for your birthday then proceed to eat your new friend and remind you of this day; the day you chose to cut me off
  4. I don't care about your baby on board... I'll literally put your baby on a board
  5. Being an independent women seems foolish when a world of no traffic cluster fucks and all day law and order marathons seem tangible
  6. All that the numbers 26.2 and 13.1 tell me is that I never want to see your crusty ass feet in a pair of flip flops
  7. We're listening to the same station!... DANCE PARTY?! Oh; you "don't see me?" Why did I expect you to not be a bumhole? Have a great day yuh shmucK