Best Names, Basketball Edition

Be a fam and compare with my Best Names, Baseball Edition!
  1. Exree Hipp
    Exree as in XRay, AARP's MVP for great advice for our seniors with osteoporosis.
  2. Sirvaliant Brown
    A most regal lord. Saw him play at GW. Could score like he was enforcing prima noctis.
  3. Uwe Blab
    Drinking at the Star Wars cantina.
  4. Majestic Mapp
    Scientific's more magnificent brother. Dad's name? Edward.
  5. Scientific Mapp
    Majestic's more scholarly brother. Mom's name? Elizabeth.
  6. God Shammgod
    The only name on this list that breaks Commandments.
  7. Moses Malone
    The other name on this list that breaks Commandments. I lied when I said there was only one. Damn, now I'm breaking them.
  8. Ruben Boumtje-Boumtjie
    Kornheiser always makes fun of him because he had a triple donut- 0-0-0- in his last college game at Georgetown but HIS NAME IS A TRIPLE DOUBLE!!! so points for him. I once, embarrassingly, momentarily, confused him with Boutros Boutros Ghali.
  9. Frank Brickowski
    Brick! Ows! Mighty mighty, letting it all hang out.
  10. Pops Mensa-Bonsu
    And he looked and moved like a Pops, too!
  11. World B. Free, Metta World Peace, Steeve Ho You Fat
    Changing your name for comedic purposes always appreciated!
  12. Arvydas Sabonis
    He looked like Ray Liotta. And is living the rest of his life like a shnook ordering tequila at bars and laughing at people.
  13. Kelly Tripucka
    Could really throw it up.
  14. Baskerville Holmes
    Suggested by   @Price
  15. Nene Hilario
    Yes, yes. Hillari, yo.
    Suggested by   @joshbard
  16. Manute Bol's son, Bol Bol
    Suggested by   @Goldie
  17. Russell Westbrook
    When you are an announcer doing play-by-play for a game you have to be prepared for anything. And this name, at a rapid speed, is the ultimate test: "And here come the Thunder going back the other way --oh wow there's a glare in my eye!!!... the rascally Russell Westbrook is wearing an Irish wristwatch!"
  18. Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jaques Wamutombo
    The greatest rumor in NBA history: that Dik would walk into a club and say "Who wants to sex the Mutombo???" He went on my friends Dan, Bo and Papi's show Highly Questionable and denied he ever did this but if in actuality he said "Who wants to sex the Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jaques Wamutombo???" he's got plausible deniability.
  19. Pooh Richardson
    Suggested by   @erichutchinson