1. Dick Butkus
    Fde0d078 8009 458d b377 20d838865f42
    The gold standard.
  2. Chuck Long
    5a85321f f5e4 4cb5 9a47 8f94a924e573
    The aptronym. He played quarterback. His dentist is named Rip Bucuspid, his tax attorney Bill Doubleyou The 4th.
  3. Jim Bob Cooter
    61b1297d cc93 403c a52d 7c1e7ee42edc
    An offensive quality control coach in the NFL, which is perfect because his name is quality but also offensive.
  4. Barkevious Mingo, D'Brickashaw Ferguson
    05938650 9c23 47f1 9348 ddc21e8ba55b
    The names that launched a thousand Key and Peele sketches.
  5. Chase Blackburn
    4dd4c2bb 55ef 4a2f 8356 b913c115c797
    A country club pirate.
  6. Gary Hogeboom, Jim Jeffcoat
    D99ebb72 8280 4d4c 80a4 037f3b8979fa
    When football players in the 80s were named after 19th century British haberdashers.
  7. Nnamdi Asomugha
    Cb11c2fb 559a 4647 aa2f ee59386abfb1
    I bet you assumed he'd be in this list. You know what happens when you assume? You make an asomugha out of u and gha!!! he's Mr. Kerry Washington!!!!
  8. Red Grange, Bronco Nagurski, Knute Rockne
    E102a535 c23a 4b0f 871a 1720ea4f0f1b
    Old timey-voice name generator. Try Old Man Nagurski's Magic Elixir: Red Grange's cure for Halitosis. Kiss your bad breath goodbye and Mrs. Knute Rockne good morning!
  9. Cap Boso
    F529b768 d313 4c36 92a3 a964713515ef
    That time you saw him on Monday Night Football with a wad of grass in his helmet and you found out his name was Cap Boso was the first time you said "Re-dun-dant!" in that song songy voice of yours.
  10. Fair Hooker, Lucious Pucey, Buzz Nutter, Quentin Jammer
    D658dff4 c118 4ef7 9d84 f87cf5564d61
    "That's what?!" She said.
  11. Harry Colon
    Dc7434d4 068a 4615 a4ed 66ca496bd231
    Should get that checked out.
  12. Brian Piccolo
    Fbda1f05 72c5 4c41 a0e0 01a8ff758cf1
    He's my best friend.
    Suggested by @donnie