How the Mets and Dodgers Should Handle This Thing of Theirs for Tonight's Game 3

  1. Rock, Paper, Scissors
    Harvey throws rocks, paper and scissors at Utley.
  2. Harvey the Hero
    Harvey throws his first pitch into the dugout hitting Utley, gets tossed, GM 4 starter Steven Matz comes in and rides the riotous emotion to a GM 3 victory, GM 4 start goes to Harvey, he pitches a CG, 21k, 9HBP gem and dances with the devil in the pale moonlight.
  3. Harvey the Pragmatist
    Harvey plunks the first Dodgers batter he sees, gets warned, says "I have an innings limit!" , plunks the next Didgers batter, gets tossed, pumps his fist in the air saying, "Zero innings, pitches!"
  4. Chase the Hammurabian
    A devout student of Hammurabi, Utley appeals the suspension, saws off his right leg after the national anthem. He goes 2 for 4, legs out a double.
  5. Pizza Rat Arbitration
    Unable to rule on Utley's appeal in time Joe Torre is forced to challenge Pizza Rat to a Famous Original Rays slice eating contest. 2 competitors, just one winner. The two have to Lady & The Tramp one slice, if Torre eats more appeal is denied, if Pizza Rat eats more he starts at SS for the Mets.
  6. Vin Scully
    Vin is the fairest of them all. He decides.
  7. A good ol' fashioned complain off by fans
    Already happening. Mute.