How the Mets and Dodgers Should Handle This Thing of Theirs for Tonight's Game 3
- •Rock, Paper, ScissorsHarvey throws rocks, paper and scissors at Utley.
- •Harvey the HeroHarvey throws his first pitch into the dugout hitting Utley, gets tossed, GM 4 starter Steven Matz comes in and rides the riotous emotion to a GM 3 victory, GM 4 start goes to Harvey, he pitches a CG, 21k, 9HBP gem and dances with the devil in the pale moonlight.
- •Harvey the PragmatistHarvey plunks the first Dodgers batter he sees, gets warned, says "I have an innings limit!" , plunks the next Didgers batter, gets tossed, pumps his fist in the air saying, "Zero innings, pitches!"
- •Chase the HammurabianA devout student of Hammurabi, Utley appeals the suspension, saws off his right leg after the national anthem. He goes 2 for 4, legs out a double.
- •Pizza Rat ArbitrationUnable to rule on Utley's appeal in time Joe Torre is forced to challenge Pizza Rat to a Famous Original Rays slice eating contest. 2 competitors, just one winner. The two have to Lady & The Tramp one slice, if Torre eats more appeal is denied, if Pizza Rat eats more he starts at SS for the Mets.
- •Vin ScullyVin is the fairest of them all. He decides.
- •A good ol' fashioned complain off by fansAlready happening. Mute.