THOUGHTS ON CHRISTMAS

The older you are the weirder it gets.
  1. Don't accidentally tell all of the little kids that Santa isn't real...shit.
  2. Is it okay to have 5 cookies even though the kids were told to only have two?
  3. Everyone needs to stop asking me when I'm going to have kids. Like yo, I'm not married and I still play Mario Party.
  4. Whatever I'm going to eat 7 cookies, it's a holiday, and I'm an adult.
  5. Okay it's fine, I hate the gift but I need to keep smiling and casually look for the gift receipt.
  6. Finally, everyone's gone and I can finally put on sweatpants since I've eaten 10 cookies.