I'm about to board a redeye at LAX so this is what's going through my head.
  1. Please don't be on my flight
    Screaming children and anyone who seems to have the plague.
  2. Haven't you ever traveled before?
    This isn't rocket science.
  3. What are you wearing? Why?
    What if you get caught in someone else's TMZ shot? Don't you want to look human?
  4. Does everyone suddenly crave McDonalds?
    Please don't bring that on this flight. 🙏🏼
  5. Do I have to pee?
    No but I'll try because God knows I refuse to pee on planes.
  6. Where are my sleepy pills?
  7. Are you drunk?
    I wish I was drunk. The redeye is a long flight.
  8. Hope my phone stays charged.