I have never been what the kids call "chill"
- •When I drop an ice cube on the kitchen floorThe world is ending
- •When they accidentally put mayo on my sandwichEnd me
- •When someone honks at mePulling over and never driving again
- •When someone cockblocks me (or the female equivalent) while drunkYou deserve to die
- •The 30 seconds before I take a shot of alcoholOmg omg I'm gonna throw up
- •When Netflix gives me sassThe fuk u think I went?
- •When my parents bring up money/loans/debt*hysterics*
- •When my mom asks about my job searchBrb playing in traffic
- •When it becomes clear that I will not be at least 5 mins earlyI don't deserve to live anymore
- •When a tweet I was particularly proud of doesn't get any love*texts everyone in contacts* "guys I'm funny right???"
- •When my team loses at trivia, catch phrase, anything and it's not my faultYea u better be fuckin' sorry
- •When nobody at the bar wants to make out with me🎵 I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me 🎵