SIGNS THE UNIVERSE WANTS ME TO BE DATING
Eligible gents hmu
- •My phone won't let me delete the Bumble app
- •My grandmother sent me a coupon in the mail for a free pair of sexy underoos at Victoria's Secret
- •My mom recently said to me "you can't take that body with you" as in, to the afterlife
- •I keep getting emails for ChristianMingle and JDate"We literally don't care what religion you are just DATE SOMEONE you loser."
- •My Groupon offers have been overwhelmingly heavy on "deep tissue massages for two"
- •The cap of my Magic Hat beer the other day said "make an attraction a distraction"🤔