THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER CAN'T EVEN FIND ME A BOYFRIEND

Can't say she didn't try... Patti Stanger for prez @Bravo
  1. Oh my god, Tori I'm so happy you finally came to see me. What have you been up to?
    Mad Men, House of Cards, intermittent episodes of Friends, oh and I caught up on Girls last night
  2. Ok so you've got a lot on your plate. Let's get serious: Who are your celebrity crushes?
    Tough, but I'd narrow it to down to Drew Carey, Eugene Levy, and Pee Wee Herman
  3. Hmm ok can't say that you necessarily have a "type" but that's good it'll make this easier. When was your last relationship?
    Define "relationship"
  4. Well, what went wrong?
    👻
  5. Why haven't you turned out a rap album in a while? You were like, the best!
    Aw, Patti! I know, but clearly I've been super busy. Plus I've been going to the gym once a week so it's hard for me to get in any solid studio time. You'll be the first to know when "Bar Beatz II" drops.
  6. So, why love now?
    Well I'm tired of looking for a job to fulfill me so might as well find a person.
  7. Ok, I think that almost makes sense. Do you want to get married?
    I think I'm on my parents health insurance for a couple more years but after that yea sure.
  8. I think I have enough to work with. I'll be in touch.
    Awesome thanks so much! And if you could text me instead of call that'd be great.