THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER CAN'T EVEN FIND ME A BOYFRIEND
Can't say she didn't try... Patti Stanger for prez @Bravo
- •Oh my god, Tori I'm so happy you finally came to see me. What have you been up to?Mad Men, House of Cards, intermittent episodes of Friends, oh and I caught up on Girls last night
- •Ok so you've got a lot on your plate. Let's get serious: Who are your celebrity crushes?Tough, but I'd narrow it to down to Drew Carey, Eugene Levy, and Pee Wee Herman
- •Hmm ok can't say that you necessarily have a "type" but that's good it'll make this easier. When was your last relationship?Define "relationship"
- •Well, what went wrong?👻
- •Why haven't you turned out a rap album in a while? You were like, the best!Aw, Patti! I know, but clearly I've been super busy. Plus I've been going to the gym once a week so it's hard for me to get in any solid studio time. You'll be the first to know when "Bar Beatz II" drops.
- •So, why love now?Well I'm tired of looking for a job to fulfill me so might as well find a person.
- •Ok, I think that almost makes sense. Do you want to get married?I think I'm on my parents health insurance for a couple more years but after that yea sure.
- •I think I have enough to work with. I'll be in touch.Awesome thanks so much! And if you could text me instead of call that'd be great.