THINGS WORKING IN A GROCERY STORE HAS RUINED FOR ME

supermarket sweep me away from here
  1. Salad bars
    I guarantee the romaine has not been washed
  2. Pre-cut fruit
    Cuz I cut it
  3. Organic
    Not real
  4. All-natural
    Nope
  5. "Fresh"
    I squeeze "fresh" guac into containers out of a 4 pound bag and when people ask if we make it in store I say "yes"
  6. Bananas
    "Where are the bananas?" is the working title for my first grocery store memoir
  7. Bakery
    More of a thaw-ery
  8. Recycling
    I throw away a lot of plastic at work and feel nothing anymore
  9. A pair of New Balance sneakers
  10. Three pairs of black jeans
  11. The ability to believe I can get a real job with this college degree I have
  12. Weekends
    I hear they're nice
  13. People
  14. Food